The Wives Club hits the mall

I’ve found myself visiting a lot of malls lately. No, this is not because I’m some kind of fashion plate. Even my best friends would acknowledge that my style tends to be more “discount day at the thrift store” than haute couture. In fact, I noticed today that my outfit was eerily similar to what the (male) construction workers at my apartment complex were wearing. It made me feel like I’ve missed my life’s calling.

I didn’t notice the toothpaste stain on my shorts until I saw this picture…

No, I find myself visiting malls lately because they’re an air conditioned refuge from my (still, sometimes) sewage-scented apartment. My life is going to get busier – it looks like I’ll be subbing at Todd’s school – but until the rest of my documents come in, I’m as free as one of Todd’s feathered friends (hence the apartment/mall time). The “open” schedule was cool at first – there are tons of tourist-y things to do in Bangkok – but now it’s crossing the line into lame-o territory. As I wait for work to start, I am strangely drawn to shopping malls – perhaps something about the utter vapidity of the experience dulls the stress of transition.

Today, mall-time was less vapid than usual, because I had the other members of The Wives Club with me. First, I met up with Cute Texas Beth. We are basically the same person: She’s a wife, I’m a wife. She’s waiting to sub, I’m waiting to sub. She looks like Audrey Hepburn, I look like Au… a Thai construction worker. But you get the point. We’re twins except that she says “Y’all” and I say “eh.”

Beth likes to show her love for her country by wearing patriotic clothing

On our way out, we picked up the Lovely Lip. She is also a wife, but she can’t be our twin because she actually has a job.

Lucky for me she’s willing to be seen with a construction-worker-wannabe

And we headed to a mall. Saying that Bangkok has shopping options is like saying that Todd digs numbers and birds: it’s a total understatement. Bangkok is essentially one big mall with some palaces and temples sprinkled in for variety. There are indoor options, outdoor options, and indoor’n’outdoor options. If I was a better planner, I would have included photos of a variety of malls, but who am I kidding? Planning is my kryptonite. Therefore, you get to see one mall, and one mall only.

But what a mall. Mega Bangna rises like a beacon of hope from a mire of crazy highways and intense humidity. Plus, its name is really fun to say.


It has a skating rink, a bowling alley, a cineplex, an Ikea, playgrounds, and a million donut shops.

So whether you’re simply a conspicuous consumer…


And who doesn’t want to consume an Angry Bird?

A general binge eater…


For some reason, I decided to eat porridge here


Or an Ikea connoisseur…


45 Baht = $1.50 cdn

Mega’s got you covered. Lip’s taste in restaurants runs more towards “cute bistro” than “Ikea feeding trough,” and so we ended up at Cafe Marmalade for lunch.

I can’t make fun of this picture. They’re too cute.

Ahhh. Yellow curry with deep-fried bread. Just what the doctor ordered

I ended up having a way better, way less vacuous time than I usually do at Mega Bangna (try saying it with a hearty emphasis on the BANG). I’m really grateful for the other members of The Wives Club – they are a bright spot in this time of transition.

And just because I can’t bring myself to end on a serious note, here is one more photo. This alien-lady-thing lives outside of the mall.

Her body is covered in inane quotes about fashion, but the quote on her leg is one that I personally live by: “You don’t learn style watching people on a runway. Fashion happens every morning when you wake up.”

Yeah baby. Construction chic is happening now.

12 thoughts on “The Wives Club hits the mall

  1. Darling Daughter, this kinds of reminds me of my first month in Calgary in 1978 when I was jobless. I went downtown everyday to see the sights. I’m glad that you like the malls.
    love Dad

  2. The malls here a haven from the heat, I swear I go in them just to get some air-con. I think I’ve also spent more time in malls while being in Thailand than I have the rest of my life put together. Great blog btw!!!

  3. this is awesome and hilarious. i especially like the line, “Bangkok is essentially one big mall with some palaces and temples sprinkled in for variety.” TRUE THAT.

  4. Pingback: Stuff Thai People Like: Shopping! | The Facetious Farang

  5. Pingback: Ice Skating Thai Style | The Facetious Farang

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